back after years and this time to be regular and more disciplined. same words i uttered few years back but this times things have to change, they have no choice but to change. some remarkable and heartbreaking things has occurred simultaneously in gap period. Will try to give those feelings proper words. even after daring to put things in front of billions via Internet, I am still hoping that no one is reading it and this page will remain my personal regime. people are going ahead in race of life. settling in their targeted careers and marrying their sweethearts but somewhere I am lost in race and thrown our unknowingly. So is to continue as a looser throughout my life has become my destiny and will this route throughout. cant I change things, cant I turn negativity upside down. is there any thing left in me or did i ever possess that potential?

 

It really seems like an unusual and uncomfortable fact that I made this blog around two years back and today is the day when I am writing my first post. feeling sad and happy both on this occasion. sad because i kept myself away from this amazing component of google services for so long and happy for,  at least  i am doing it finally. I now promise myself to speak my mind out for at least one thing out of many that strike me each day.

I am an idealist and and in humanitarian sector by choice. actually of the statement by choice, i am really not sure of. but what i am sure about myself is that i am a highly inspired personnel, a jingoistic who wants to do so much for nation, every humanitarian cause stirs my soul. but then i lack efforts. things just remain in my mind and heart, never comes in action. I plan well and hard, but execution is not even 10 % of what i think. good thing is that i am aware of my loopholes and weakness but sad part is that i have never worked on them with commitment and determination. I find myself a looser in front of life, a loser who could have been a fantastic and remarkable winner in life. I want an identity for myself, someone who did remarkable job for society.

one more thing, because i never share anything running in mind and heart with anyone so i could never attain any advice or help from anyone. I have always been afraid of being judged, to be precise judged negatively. but I think this blog will bring me solution of this. I normally think that whatever i do think is impractical and stupid. people already know about it and my perspective is an immature ones and will bring me brutal mockery. But i will believe in this blog to bring me solution of this hurdle of mine. Even if no one is reading it still i am sure just by expressing myself honestly will help me to change. CHANGE TO WIN.

will c u tomorrow onwards.